Yes, you are that powerful.

December 09, 2014

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With technology and access to world news one need not look far for evidence of loss and sadness. There is news all around us. Daily, on social media, we see the announcements of the loss of loved ones and atrocities of mankind. This constant access can create a sense of melancholy and overwhelm – especially at this time of year. My heart aches for anyone sad and grieving at any time of year. Like many, I too have lost loved ones and the closer to the holidays the more painful it is. There is also the sense of life being fleeting and fragile.

For the past year I have been sharing my story through Frock Off: Living Undisguised. I know all too well the pain of not living the life I desired or imagined. That said, since the launch of my memoir in 2013 I’ve been living full on, living the life I imagined, living my purpose and sharing the message of hope.

I know this doesn’t make me immune to accidents, loss or sadness and yet somehow; at times I’ve felt safe and protected. This is naive at best and reckless at worse – perhaps even a frock. You see at any given moment – all we know to be true and right, all those we love and cherish, all that we value and hold dear can be changed. Sure I had survived some really BIG things but the truth was I was getting somewhat big for my britches. None of us are immune to life’s experiences.

Recently, I was reminded how everything can change in the blink of an eye. I was reminded life is fleeting and that all things that need to be said – should be said. There may not be a tomorrow.

Rationally I understand this and for the most part I live it – EVERDAY!

It was 6:15 pm, when Michael pulled into the drive way that dark snowy evening, I noticed the driver’s side headlight was out as he drove in and made a mental note to let him know as soon as I was off the phone. I had been chatting with my dear friend Colleen who was sharing all the exciting things that were going on in her life. When Michael walked in the door with Bella (our puppy) and Tequila (our feisty cat) in tow – he seemed off, distracted and rushed. I hadn’t noticed the blood on the side of his face or that his hands were shaking.

My first thought was he was tired; after all, we had both been in transit for almost 30 hours. Having left Florida only the day before; we had travelled first by plane to Dallas, then by train, then by plane again to Calgary, we were both tired and suffering jetlag. We arrived in Calgary in the wee hours of the morning and after a brief five hours of sleep we each picked up our own vehicles and began our journey to Montana a three and a half hour drive. We had decided the night before that Michael, upon arriving in Eureka, would pick up Bella and Tequila from the kennel. I would meet him at the cabin where we would stay for a few days and then begin our journey back to Vancouver Island (our primary home).

Earlier that day as I drove I had an uneasy feeling, it was heavy and dark, the kind one gets before something happens. The roads were in true winter condition – which meant they were snow covered and challenging. The foreboding feeling continued to plague me as I drove so from Alberta into British Columbia. Enough was enough – I decided to check in with Michael just to be sure he was alright. Hearing Michael’s voice reassured me he was fine – he is after all a seasoned and professional driver and I am prone to over thinking things. I told myself my fear was based on my own fear and concern over the road conditions.

I quickly wrapped up my conversation with Colleen. “Honey, one of the headlights is out on the truck.” I said. He responded with “that’s not all that’s out, I hit a tree”. WHAT?

In that moment I realized why he seemed off – he was in shock. My first reaction was concern for his safety. When in a crisis I go first to logical and practical thinking it is my coping mechanism. I told myself he must be okay after all he had driven himself home. I expected to see a fender bender.

We went outside to survey the damage. The first thing I notice was the hissing sound coming from the truck, then the front bumper which hung perilously to one side, the hood was mangled and pushed a third of the way into the motor leaving the front tire protruding out, the frame clearly bent from the force of the impact and the missing driver’s window which had exploded on impact, yet miraculously and mercifully Michael had been spared the impact of hitting the large tree trunk. The truck had bounced just in time to pass the driver door as it stayed in perpetual motion, careening the tree. The trunk and branches like weapons dug into the truck scraping and peeling it like a can opener, coming to the stop on the back bumper.

By all accounts of what had happened Michael was lucky to be alive. As is often the case, in an accident, denial and shock set in. After surveying the damage, Michael drove the truck home about ten kms/six miles.

Over the last few days I have played over and over in my head all the various scenarios.

What if the impact had been with the driver’s door – not the hood of the truck? The tree would have come right into the cab of the truck. How long would it have been before he was found on that quiet country secondary road? Even scarier – what if he had died on impact, what would have happened?

Luckily and miraculously Michael was spared and again I am reminded that life is fragile and we must cherish every moment.

Loved ones can’t be replaced. Take nothing for granted – you just never know. 12 for 12 cute-hug

Today and always hold close all things near and dear to your heart and let them know they matter!

It is so important we live the lives we are destined for – we all have a purpose, a calling, a destiny and we must live our legacy. We must live our Frock-alicious lives today – there are no guarantees of tomorrow.

Live your life as a ripple of change, creating impact. You are that powerful, you are that person!

Until next time stay inspired to be the change you seek.

Much Love and adoration,

Jo Dibblee

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